I feel a lil much better than before. I was in a mixed feelings and unstable mind few days ago. But I can't stop thinking of home and cry every time I talked to my parents. I once feel like my parent's life would be better without me as I bring such a bad luck and a burden to them. I didn't do much. I rarely get good results which that was and still their hopes on me(& my siblings). I ain't no good in academic, even I myself didn't target that high score as what my parents expected me to get. I'm just a creature who wasted their money on food and other unimportant things only. I keep thinking what is my contribution for them? What are they looking up for me in future? A doctor? A teacher? Sigh. I can't even promise myself to get a beautiful cgpa. Because I know, I know what is my limit what I can do and what I can't.
Waking up to those uncertain feelings is driving me insane. I can't stop thinking how am I gonna make it right this final. This is the real deal after school. No more playing around. If I slipped off this one, I might fall down to the core of the cliff and never going up anymore. Its hard to do so. I'm carrying my parents wishes and endless hopes on my shoulder. I love them till the end of my breath how can I let them disappointed? I tried to gather my strength, do what I can do. No stressing out. No depression is going to be happened anymore. I'm so weak when I reached at that state and I totally blank. I can't do anything than just sit down and think until I can't think of any logical sense anymore. I don't wanna get into stress anymore :(