I dreamt about something I can never imagine of in my real life. I knew we will never be like that but I know there is message in it. Now I know the meaning of when someone "like" us, that someone will accept us for whoever we are. I feel like crying right now, my heart does not beating normally :( I'm scared but just thinking of how sweet the dream was, it just not give me butterflies in the stomach but I had the whole zoo instead. That was so beautiful, the way he slowly accepting me for who I am. I thought there will no stranger will treat me as my mom and dad does but I think that is the real meaning of "the right one"? Sigh, its still so far for me to think about marriage and such. I'm just 19 and all I asked for is just give me the damn mood to study and do work. Ya Allah, please diverge me from all the unnecessary things when the time has not come yet. I'm grateful for lending me a family who always welcome and embrace this cringeworthy human.
But at this rate, though I'm only 19 but if I had a chance to get in a relationship I don't want it to be just between a girl and a boy. I want it to be serious, what I mean is, marriage. I don't like wasting time on something that give me nothing on future. I don't want to break my heart for a numerous times until I'm immune to it. I hate to start things all over again, its just wasting my time. I want a serious relationship. If there is no one will put up with my bad mood, my cravings, my foolishness, my passion on something that I can die for and accept my flaws same as what my family did to me, never mind. I will still have a family who welcome me and I love them until i die.